Chapter 24: Actually a Useless Salted Fish Agent

The lights were turned on in the room. The luxury suite of the five-star hotel was fully furnished, with dry and wet areas separated. The air conditioning was turned up very warm, and one could appreciate the continuous rainstorm outside the floor-to-ceiling windows.

Wei Yanchi went to change his clothes.

Xie De leaned on the sofa, holding an unlit cigarette in his mouth, purely tasting the flavor of the tobacco. His clothes and hair were quite wet, making his aura even colder.

He sat there quietly, staring at a certain spot, looking as if he were zoning out, which was indeed the case.

Wei Yanchi walked over and asked, "What would you like to drink?"

Xie De snapped back to reality and replied casually.

"Whatever."

Wei Yanchi nodded. Noticing that the tips of Xie De's long fingers were still red from the cold, he specially went downstairs and brought up a cup of steaming hot cocoa and a cup of piping hot brown sugar ginger tea along with a bottle of sweet hot cola.

All three hot drinks were considerately placed on the coffee table in front of Xie De, within easy reach.

The temperature was probably around 45 degrees Celsius, just right for drinking and warming one's lungs.

The protagonist was surprisingly nice.

Xie De ultimately chose to take a sip of the hot cocoa. Seeing the protagonist sitting opposite him staring at him constantly, he felt the atmosphere was inexplicably awkward.

"What do you want to say?"

Wei Yanchi blinked, his fingers slightly curled. He opened his mouth hesitantly.

"This rain is very cold. If you don't deal with getting wet, you might catch a cold. Can I help you dry your hair?"

"......"

The protagonist was being abnormally nice.

Xie De, expressionless, asked back in confusion.

"Are we close?"

The hand that was about to reach out quickly retracted. Wei Yanchi said in a disappointed, low voice.

"I'm sorry, I was being presumptuous."

Then, he seamlessly changed the subject, "The next scenario opens in two months. Besides the items given by the scenario, Mr. 39, you can also bring one thing from reality in. The rule of the scenario here is, however many scenarios you've cleared is how many extra weapons you can bring."

Seeing 39's thoughtful expression, Wei Yanchi hurriedly added, "The things in the scenarios are bizarre and impossible to defend against effectively. Hot weapons like machine guns might be inconvenient to carry and maneuver with due to their weight."

Machine gun?

Xie De actually wanted to bring one, but it depended on whether he had one. The protagonist had overestimated him.

Suddenly feeling curious, Xie De lowered his head and took another sip of hot cocoa, "How many scenarios have you cleared?"

"Four."

Wei Yanchi smiled.

"I cleared my first scenario a year ago. At that time, I was looking at the sea in Shanghai. I never thought scenario games really existed. The first time definitely felt very novel. I also don't know how many levels need to be cleared to completely get rid of this thing."

Then there's probably still a lot to clear.

After all, the big villain is still a little brat right now.

Bored, Xie De placed the barely-touched hot cocoa on the table and leaned back on the sofa with his legs crossed. Keeping some manners by not smoking, his thoughts returned to the terrifying environment of the scenario. He clicked his tongue irritably. He really didn't know how to continue the conversation with the protagonist.

Wei Yanchi smiled as usual, "Mr. 39, why did you appear in this city?"

This…

Xie De glanced at Wei Yanchi, "Don't ask so many questions."

"Okay."

Wei Yanchi could actually guess what Xie De was here for. After all, he had been drawn out by the smell of blood. His five senses were extremely sharp. He could smell that although there was no scent of blood on Xie De, there was a faint smell of gunpowder covered up by the scent of tobacco.

That was the smell of ammunition.

He wondered how many people Xie De had killed.

Wei Yanchi felt that if their world was a created piece of fiction, then the role Xie De played within it must be the dangerous and charming mastermind behind the scenes.

"I came to this city because of some things that, to Mr. 39, would definitely be considered feudal superstition," Wei Yanchi looked a bit embarrassed.

"I don't know if Mr. 39 would be interested. I'm here to exorcise evil spirits."

Exorcise evil spirits? That's so cool.

Xie De thought to himself, I knew it! He knew the protagonist appearing here was definitely not because of something simple!

Before this, Xie De could also be called a staunch materialist warrior, but since experiencing Gibberish and things like scenarios, his worldview had long been shattered and was tottering.

Just as he was about to open his mouth to ask something, a violent phone ringtone rang from the bedside table. Wei Yanchi immediately walked over to check. It was his client.

Coincidentally, Xie De's phone also let out a ding-dong. Gibberish had returned exhausted, sending a bunch of messages to his phone. Xie De lowered his head to look.

On Wei Yanchi's side, as soon as he answered, there was crying and screaming.

"Master! The chicken and dog you asked for can only be delivered tomorrow because of this rain! But that evil thing seems to have come alive! It's moving, hurry and save us..."

Hearing this, Wei Yanchi spoke quickly and clearly.

"Don't panic. Everyone gather together, hide in a room and don't come out. Close the doors and windows tightly, turn on all the lights, and sprinkle a handful of coarse salt at the door and window cracks. I'll be right there."

He didn't hang up. The extremely terrified crying of a child, along with the soft comforting voices of women, kept coming from the phone.

Wei Yanchi said apologetically, "I have some things to do. Mr. 39 can wait..."

"902."

"Hmm?"

Xie De shifted his gaze away from the phone screen, "My room number."

Gibberish had just booked it, right next door to Wei Yanchi's room. 1900 a night. So expensive it made Xie De want to go do some manual labor or work overtime.

Wei Yanchi's eyes instantly lit up. He walked very fast, speaking somewhat incoherently, "Then, I'll be back very soon. I'll come find you in a bit."

The main door opened and closed.

"Did you put a hex on the protagonist? In the original book, the protagonist is steady and a bit of a poser. He has never acted so much like an overwhelmed, clueless kid." Gibberish said listlessly.

"Don't be delusional. If I had that ability, would I have let a useless little system like you pester me?" Xie De stood up, and while walking outside, he headachingly digested the messages Gibberish had just sent over.

"What do you mean there's another person to kill?"

"...Literally. Oh boy, Host, you also know I'm a little piece of trash. It's just that, hahaha, I'm not familiar with the plot," Gibberish said guiltily, "I just detected that the laboratory always acts in pairs to help each other and improve the mission's success rate. So, that means we missed killing one person."

"However, my mainframe is already running hot. I can only pinpoint that person's location tomorrow, but I can confirm that they are definitely also in this city."

Walking into 902, the decor was more or less the same as the protagonist's room. Xie De collapsed exhaustedly onto the bed.

"Gibberish, the organization is very disappointed in you."

"Hold the disappointment, charge me first." Gibberish yelled from the phone, "Hurry up, I'm about to shut down!"

He casually grabbed the hotel charger. As soon as he plugged it in, the lights began to flicker non-stop due to the unstable voltage. It was uncomfortable for the eyes, so Xie De simply turned off the lights.

"Suck up a bit more electricity. The room rate is so expensive, at least recoup some of the cost."

Gibberish let out a comfortable sigh, "Sigh, could you broaden your horizons a bit? We are destined to make big money! By the way, did you see his backpack in the protagonist's room just now?"

"Didn't notice. Why?"

Gibberish said mysteriously, "I saw some anime merch hanging on the protagonist's backpack."

"He's young, it's normal."

"No, the protagonist is a Taoist priest! And a very arrogant guy. It was never written in the original book that he's into ACG [1] culture. This is very bizarre, you know? Host, who would have thought the protagonist follows anime?"

"Yeah, it's normal for young people to be a little chuunibyou."

Xie De was getting a little drowsy.

Gibberish let out an annoying yell, "No! Host! Don't you think your image is very anime? The protagonist just likes this type, he's totally a white-hair fanatic! Plus, his temper is so good in front of you. Do you think we should develop a side quest? Romance the protagonist! Many systems have this capability! I want to..."

"No, you don't."

Xie De was utterly speechless, "Just making things up as you go, huh? It's tiring enough already. Don't forget we still have to go kill a person tomorrow."

"Hiss... Host, although it's due to objective reasons, the way you are constantly planning to do missions is also a bit like the setting of an agent in anime."

"Are there agents as poor as me in anime?"

"Don't say that. Thirty years on the east bank of the river, thirty years on the west bank [2]. Don't bully the young for being poor. You will be rich. You're just a little cowardly in character, a little timid, a little slow-witted, a little bit of a salted fish, a little lacking in skills..."

The more it spoke, the quieter Gibberish's voice became. In the end, it resigned itself to fate.

"Okay, Host, there really isn't anyone like you."

Xie De sat up, laughing out of anger.

"Gibberish, if you keep talking, I'm really going to lose it. Do you believe I'll manually shut you down?"

Gibberish: "( ⋌⋋), then you have another flaw. You are a stingy miser."

—

[1] ACG - Anime, Comic, Games

[2] “thirty years on the east bank of the river, thirty years on the west bank (三十年河东, 三十年河西)” - a Chinese proverb meaning fortunes change over time. It implies that those currently down-and-out may succeed later, often used to warn against bullying the young and poor. It refers to the shifting course of the Yellow River. of